Toilet Paper

I have a toilet paper problem.

Now, I realize that seems an odd thing to say.

It gets crazier. We’re gonna go down a twisty road on this one, folks.

So, here’s my problem. The darn toilet paper rolls are too big. Sooo big they threw me into a self-revelatory examination of my lifestyle and financial history. Now, THAT’S something to say about toilet paper!

Here’s the thing…I bought one of those cute little cabinets you put next to your toilet for extra rolls. Well, as anyone who has wandered through the store lately can tell you, the dawgone toilet paper manufacturers have lost their ever-lovin’ minds! We can’t have simple measurements of one roll equals one roll. Noooooo! It’s four rolls equals eight, eight rolls equals twenty (‘cause even the math can’t make sense). There are double rolls, super rolls, mega rolls, ultra rolls, and so forth and so on! These folks are outta control!

The upshot is, none of these massive rolls fit in my cabinet, which was specifically designed to hold toilet paper…the rolls of a bygone era, it seems. (Interpret “bygone era” as the days before the t.p. manufactures went crazy).

So…I went in search of toilet paper that would fit in my cabinet. And I found it.

Turns out the cheapest toilet paper brands are still the normal size. I bought some in the dollar store.

Now here comes the existential crisis part……

I realized my quest for toilet paper might be a “someone with money” problem.

Hm.

I definitely would not have had this problem back in the day. Years ago, I’d have been buying the cheap toilet paper all along. The same size all the time, not even sparing a glance at those super duper mega rolls.

Back then, the rolls would have gone in the regular bathroom cabinet under the sink. Not in a special decorative storage area in my….. ((winces)) …..dedicated toilet area closed off from the rest of my bathroom. Ya know, the teeny little room with the lavender heart wreath and the special cozy rug and the motivational artwork on the wall.

(Well, you don’t really know, unless you’ve been in my bathroom. If you are acquainted with my bathroom set-up and you ain’t family, then I have a whole OTHER set of bathroom issues!)

Anyway….

I acknowledge this whole “cabinet-isn’t-big-enough-thing” isn’t a real issue, not like the very real ones I used to face, which ran along the lines of “do-I-pay-for-car-insurance-or-pay-the-electric-bill”.  To be honest, I hope I never forget those early times when I struggled. Recalling those days puts my current life into proper perspective.

It’s good to remember our problems (sometimes) aren’t nearly as serious as we think.

Still, the realization that toilet paper is an issue I think I face pulled me up short.

((Picture me standing in my hallway, t.p. in hand, looking confused. <<<< Actually happened.))

Finally, I decided I’m not going to think about it anymore. Any of it. Not a situation. Nothing to see here, folks. Just me and my t.p.

((Which is maybe a wee bit untrue! I decided I was kinda spoiled. Possibly not in a way that causes much harm, though.))

Moral of the story: Shove the toilet paper in as best it goes and move on! Life is good if a cabinet door being ajar is all you have to worry about.

Oh, and um….but perhaps, just maybe, those toilet paper folks need to calm the *&%$ down. Just a bit.

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((Here’s a confession and a behind the scenes look at my writing and how much I overthink things. It has taken me a good four months to write this particular blog. When the topic is figuring out people and why they do what they do, whether it is me or someone else, I mull it over….and over…..and over.))

((For the record, I am still struggling with leaving that door ajar.))