A Bit About Homeschooling

Folks, I’m not gonna lie….the past few weeks have been hard for me. They’ve been tough for a lot of people. All of these damn shootings. It’s been one horror after another. I’m so full of rage. And, there’s no where for it to go, no way to release it. Everywhere you turn, people say “we can’t change this” or “we won’t change that” meanwhile people are dying. CHILDREN are dying. I want to scream. I want to throw things. I’m SO angry.

I can’t imagine what this is doing to our younger generations. It’s radicalizing me. ME...a 49 year old grandmother. I don’t know how our children, teenagers, and young adults exist while seeing the world we’re leaving them.

I struggle with my writing. I think I should talk about what is happening, try to help people understand different perspectives. Then, I remember how divided we all are, and how having online opinions leads to comment sections full of anger and hate. Maybe we don’t need that and I should stick to lighter topics. Different days, I have different feelings on what I should do.

So, today’s writing is a hybrid. I’m not yelling and screaming, much as I might want to. Instead, I’m offering input on a thought (I know for a fact) many parents are having right now.

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I’ve decided to talk about homeschooling.

~~~ First off, I’m not saying it’s for everyone.

Well…...in normal times, I would firmly tell you every child is different and you need to find a system of education that works best for them.

These are not normal times.

School shootings, the spread of the pandemic, and open hostility towards certain groups of children have led some parents to decide they’d rather teach their children at home. I get it. I would make the same decision. I already have, in the past. And for lesser reasons.

Before we go further, I’d like to acknowledge most parents don’t have a choice in the matter. More often than not, both parents have to work to make ends meet, there may be no extended family to rely on, and the finances don’t line up.

Therefore I’m not saying all schools need to shut down or all kids should be pulled out. Schools are valuable and necessary spaces. We HAVE to fix the broken system to make them safe.

What I’m saying is...if you’re terrified of sending your child to school...and IF you can somehow manage it, look into homeschooling.

This is not a political stance. I want to be clear about that. While online, I’ve seen arguments about homeschooling. Some say yanking kids out of school plays into the hands of conservatives. Others say lack of proper schooling got us in this mess in the first place. I’m not talking about ANY of that right now.

I’m talking about what you, as a parent, feel in the quiet part of your heart when you look at your child. Where do you want them to be? For some, the answer will be at home.

To that end, I feel I’m in a unique position to talk about school options because I’ve tried several, while living in two different states.

~~~ For the most part, my children attended traditional schools. However, at different points in their education, I pulled them out to home school for a year. On top of that, my youngest child attended an online virtual academy for his senior year of high school. (I’m not going to cover virtual schooling because, truthfully, there isn’t a lot to say. It functions like a normal school except for the lack of a formal classroom.)

Before I move on, I’d like to take a moment to thank teachers. They are some of the most dedicated people on the planet! Think about it! If your job required you to regularly buy supplies for 30 different people, out of your own paltry salary, you’d tell your boss where to stick it. On top of the financial strain, teachers keep up with the latest subject information, have to find time for planning, and deal with budget cuts. (All of that is aside from training to save the lives of precious little ones if a gunman enters their building.) These are just a few of the reasons why I’ve always felt teachers should be the highest paid professionals in the world.

~~~ That being said (just like everything in life) once in a while you get a clinker.

The first time I decided to homeschool, my eldest son had an elementary teacher with whom he clashed. Something didn’t feel right to me, so I pulled him out of school for a year. The second time I homeschooled, my youngest son had a health issue. The third instance, my middle son was struggling with a toxic high school environment. (The same high school environment led to choosing virtual school for his younger brother, when the time came.)

~~~ Here’s what I learned….

(I’m gonna try to be gentle here. I’m poking around the edges of some controversial topics.)

Numerous people who homeschool, do so for religious or medical reasons, rather than personal preference. As a result, in some cases it’s easy to pull kids out of a school systems. Depending on where you live, it may be relatively easy for you to teach your child at home.

If you are thinking of homeschooling, contact your local school district and ask about the process. (By the way, this holds true for virtual learning, as well.) I’ve done it in West Virginia and Wisconsin. In both states, there was a small amount of initial paperwork. Part of which may involve providing proof of your own education. Online, I’ve seen chatter about some states requiring a tutor certificate. Again, the school district will let you know what you need.

Surprisingly, West Virginia had more rules and regulations regarding homeschooling than Wisconsin. The initial paperwork was more extensive and they required proof my child was actually being educated. The first year I did it, I had to submit samples of all the work we’d done to an actual teacher so it could be evaluated. My oldest might not have been allowed to move on to the next grade if the work hadn’t passed muster. The next time I homeschooled, I opted to let my youngest go to the school for three days to take the standardized tests which allowed him to advance.

Wisconsin trusted me to use my own best judgment. Luckily, my son was so far ahead of the rest of his class (turns out West Virginia’s school curriculum moved at a much faster pace than Wisconsin’s), there wasn’t a whole lot we even had to cover. He had already taken all but one or two of the necessary high school classes.

If you go about this honestly, and legitimately work at schooling your child, their education should not suffer. After the evaluation, teaching professionals were impressed with the topics we’d covered. My youngest son got incredibly high scores on his standardized tests.

~~~ Once I dove into homeschooling, I realized it’s difficult to find non-religious support groups. I’m not a religious person, so I ended up figuring things out on my own. If you ARE a religious person, know that you will be able to find groups for moral support and for socialization outings for your children. The parents in those groups will arrange swimming and skating events, park play dates, and similar things. Keep in mind, most churches have activities for children, too, and that’s also an excellent way for them to socialize.

As for people who are more like me, I would guess nowadays there are more groups for non-religious parents. If not, maybe look into creating one yourself. Also, there are tons of fun activities for kids at libraries, parks, and recreation centers. Not to mention stuff like karate classes and soccer.

~~~ Another hurdle you may face is material resources. Back in the day, West Virginia offered you the same textbooks they provided to the schools. You just had to give them back at the end of the school year. Which was well and good, and very nice of them, but we all know what school textbooks are like. I ended up using old college textbooks, online resources, and thinking back to the lessons I learned in school that really stuck with me. (You’ll be surprised what you can remember from your own school days!)

Also, Sam’s Club was awesome! They have lots of children’s workbooks, plus tons of books on science subjects like the elements and dinosaurs. You can find children’s fictional books there, too, even sets of series. And, the prices are fairly reasonable.

~~~ Another thing I learned is almost anything can become a teaching moment. Are you making cookies? Get your kids involved. Talk about the measurements and how powders and liquids mix together. Talk about the history of the ingredients. Have them google cocoa.

Playing cards? A game of black jack can teach addition – or even multiplication, subtraction, or division. Play for some pennies – or candy or worthless tokens of any kind - and the kids get motivated to figure it out!

Remember to break every activity down into chunks and talk it out. I know from my own experience, most of life’s lessons were ones I learned simply hanging out with my parents. When you’re homeschooling, as your child’s teacher, make a mental note to document those moments and you’ll be happy to see how quickly they add up.

~~~ The most challenging aspect of homeschooling is dedication and planning. You have to make time to sit down and figure out what topics you want to cover and how to cover them. And...THIS IS IMPORTANT….you have to stick to the plan. At the same time, the plan should be flexible enough to allow for life. (Stuff happens, ya’ know.)

((I’d like to add, teach true facts. Please.))

((I deleted an entire angry rant here. Just. Grrr. Know that opinions and facts are not the same things!))

About once a week, I’d plan out everything I wanted to cover and then I’d gather all of the workbooks, coloring sheets, reading books, and art supplies to go along with the plan. Then, my goal would be to cover all of the prepared material through the course of the week. I didn’t focus on getting certain things accomplished on certain days. Although, I did like to get a set amount of hours in per day. (Some states may require a certain number of instructional hours.) As you get further into the process, you see what particulars work best for your child and adjust accordingly. For example, they may do well working math problems in the early morning hours, or maybe they need to wake up with some reading first. Every kid is different.

~~~ That differences between children is part of the reason I’ve always been an advocate for alternative learning systems of ALL kinds. Some kids excel in a standard brick and mortar building, and love having interactions with everyone.

Some do not.

Some people never become comfortable in social situations. Yes, children do need to learn to socialize but many need to ease into it.

And what if your child thinks best while pacing around the room? (My youngest fell into this category.)

Most standard schools can’t accommodate certain special needs because it would disrupt the rest of the class.

Or, what if your child is being bullied?

There are a lot of reasons why we need more educational choices.

~~~ My own personal educational journey illustrates this idea. Throughout elementary, junior high, and high school, I hated public school. I was stressed the entire twelve years. I am 49 years old and still have nightmares about school.

It was awful. I rarely would use the restroom because it was dirty and there were no doors. I was constantly picked on. My school was so small, it housed kindergarten through twelfth grade. So, when it came time to start junior high, we were thrown in with the high school kids. At the start of my seventh grade year, I begged my mom not to make me go back. She didn’t really have a choice, though. She had to send me back. (By the way, folks, truancy laws are brutal and not designed for children with mental health issues.)

When I graduated, I had a fully paid scholarship to the local university (because, yes, you can struggle with the school environment and still make good grades). The thing is, nothing really got better. I was lost in college. I didn’t have a clue what was going on. No one in my family had ever been to college. I didn’t even know what a frickin’ “semester” was or even a grade point average!! Yeah, it was bad. I had to withdraw.

I didn’t make an attempt at college again until twenty years later.

This time, I started with online classes.

Turns out, I loved them! I didn’t have to worry about anyone else. I set my own schedule and worked at my own pace. For me, it was so low stress.

Eventually, I mixed in some in-person classes, too. They were good, but I was never quite comfortable in that setting.

Starting so late, I could only take classes when I had time. It took forever, but finally I graduated. They gave me some kind of curtain tie-back award thingie as an honor….I still never bothered to learn any of the college vernacular. I had to google what it was, but I’ve forgotten what they called it.

The point is, I needed alternative schooling. Once I had it, I excelled.

~~~ I’m not saying everyone should abandon regular schooling. Not in the least. I know students who need the structure and the face-to-face time with their professor and classmates. I still want them to have it. I’m just saying we need to look at all the options, and have a lot more choices available, when it comes to teaching our children.

As a side note, I feel every bit of it should be free. Greater knowledge helps everyone.

Also, I don’t want parents to dismiss homeschooling as a bad idea or a political virtue signaling.

Above and beyond all of everything, I want you to feel like your child is safe. For the moment, do what you need to do. Long term, we’ve got a very complicated violence problem on our hands. We need to do the hard work, face the difficult situations, and save some lives!

~~~ I’d like to end on a positive note. If you do it right, homeschooling makes for some of the best memories you’ll have with your kids. A little focus and determination, and teaching the right materials, and their education will be thorough and as advanced as you’d like it to be.

I will never forget the sheer joy of looking through my oldest son’s stack of collected work, knowing we’d accomplished so much!