A Bit About Debt and Relaxation

~~ Heads up! Today’s posting is more informative than one of my usual narratives. To make up for it, my next bit of writing will be a funny story about a time when I almost accidentally punched myself in the face. Trust me, it’s a long and winding tale! But first….you must endure a wee bit of life learning.~~

I had the idea to create a list of all the different ways I’ve been trying to de-stress. We’ve still got a raging pandemic, with a few more terrible disease looming in the background. There’s all the political and financial mess. Climate change is causing unprecedented weather. Oh, and I have less rights than a year ago at this time. I’m a little freaked out! (Yeah, that’s an understatement.)

Perhaps, we all need to focus on what makes us happy.

As I started making my list, I realized there was a problem. It was especially glaring given that so many folks are barely scraping by these days. (Among that list of current troubles, you can add inflation and the rising interest rates.)

Here’s the issue...all of the relaxation tips in the world aren’t gonna work if you’re worried about money.

You absolutely cannot unwind if you don’t know how you’re going to afford groceries and a place to live. Money problems create stress that will eat you alive! You find yourself constantly worrying about how to juggle bills, and that leaves no room for any kind of happiness or peace of mind. The most you can hope for is some kind of temporary reprieve from the torture.

Personally, I think corporate greed is fueling much of the financial trouble. Other folks blame politics. I think I’m right. They think they are right. Whatever.

Yeah, I’m gonna be dismissive of both viewpoints (for this piece of writing) because the blame game doesn’t do much to help families right now, in the moment.

With the aim of providing some inspiration for actual change, today’s writing is going to be split into two parts. The first part will focus on actions someone can take to help their financial situation. The second part of today’s piece will be a lighthearted list of relaxing activities

Keep in mind, money woes are never an easy fix. Every situation is unique and complicated. I’m going to hit some of the highlights, but I encourage everyone to dig deeper and look for more detailed advice from experts and/or people who have been there.

As far as my suggestions to combat stress, some may find them more suited to folks who are semi or fully retired. They could also be helpful for anyone who has a long weekend in front of them, or has found themselves with a few free hours. Some might be good for unwinding after a long day at work, or to settle your mind after balancing your checkbook.

Basically, use the list whenever you want inspiration for peace and quiet.

To begin:

~~~ The Financial Side of Things ~~~

You can find a billion and one websites, newspaper and magazine articles, and books on how to save money. Money is THE all-important topic for households, states, and nations. Many, many experts spend a lot of time and effort sorting out money matters.

Here’s my first suggestion - make use of their knowledge.

A word of warning...go into it knowing some of them won’t be suitable to your situation. Many financial advisors don’t know what being poor is really like. Weed those out. Pick and choose the suggestions (and experts) that work for you in your unique situation. Start implementing the workable ideas into your own life. You don’t have to implement every suggestion all at once, if you’re not comfortable with large scale change. Try one or two at a time. The thing is to focus on forward progress, even if it’s small. Actually talk to people who have straightened out their own finances, and then create your own game plan.

Work on paying off debt, even if you only add an extra dollar or two to a payment. It’s progress in the right direction. Keep track of what you’re spending money on so you can begin to form some kind of budget. Keep in mind, even little things add up.

((If your finances are in such disarray that you are about to lose your home, or you might need to declare bankruptcy, or you have a similar life altering scenario playing out, then obviously, slow and steady isn’t the plan for you. In this case, call a lawyer. First consultations are often free but ask how much it’s going to cost.))

When creating a budget, don’t forget to include the oddball stuff that pops up only a few times a year. For example, I always forget we have a propane tank that needs to be filled at random times. Some people might forget to budget in their heating oil bill because they are so focused on the regular monthly expenses.

Another important suggestion is to make use of organizations that exist to help. This one is hard to do, because it’s embarrassing. Look at it this way…..that organization was created to help people like you. They WANT to help. You’re their target audience, so to speak.

There have been times in my early life, one being right after my divorce from my first husband, when I needed assistance. I needed SNAP benefits and state health insurance. When I had cancer, I had to apply for special assistance through the hospital to pay my bills. Yes, it’s awkward and, yes, you have to jump through a lot of hoops, but it does ease the burden.

And, it is worth mentioning, you have to KEEP jumping through the hoops, which is understandable because they don’t want people taking advantage of the system.

*** Also, I qualified for assistance while working full time. In fact, most of the people I’ve known who were receiving state help were working full time. These are not all people who are sitting around being lazy. Furthermore, waaaaaay back when the aforementioned first husband was in the Navy, I knew people who qualified for assistance while serving in the armed forces. If you google how many military members collect food stamps, it’s eye opening. Don’t make assumptions about the types of people who need help. Often, the people directly around you qualify.***

For some, a solution to money woes is to pick up a second or third job. Which is fine, if they can make it work. Many cannot. If you have children or elderly relatives who need your attention, working extra jobs makes your life exponentially more difficult. You simply won’t have time to relax.

Another hidden aspect to talking about downtime activities is the cost. Yes, you can walk to a park for a picnic using food you already own. I’m not denying there are ways to relax cheaply. Instead, I want to acknowledge that a vast majority of leisure activities come with expenses. For instance, biking ain’t cheap. Good bikes are expensive, then there is bike maintenance and safety equipment to consider.

Given a bike is a large piece of equipment, let’s look at something more “reasonable”. Go to your local arts and crafts store and price quilting supplies. Better yet, take a look at how much a simple jigsaw puzzle costs these days. Almost everything in life has a big price tag. Always keep that in mind.

Finally, my number one piece of advice. Beware of any website, company, or “expert” who makes it too easy. This includes businesses who consolidate debts and payday lenders. Many of them are trying to rip you off by taking advantage of you in a weak moment.

Now, on to more pleasant thoughts…...

~~~ The Relaxing Side of Things ~~~

I have broad categories in bold followed by italicized specific activities that fall under each heading. I listed the suggestions in this way to jog everyone’s brains. Maybe you’ll remember you wanted to try one of these, or that you used to love to do one of them.

Here goes:

Needlework (embroidery, cross stitch, quilting, crochet work, knitting, bead work, weaving, the making of clothes, etc.):

After a recent conversation with Ron during which he pointed out my news consumption seemed to be doing my health no good, I decided to once again pick up an abandoned hobby. (I rather vehemently argued he was WRONG, but after giving it some thought, decided he was right. I often react this way when it comes to Ron’s suggestions. We’re both aware of the habit, and we have learned to give me a day or two to come around.)

Anyway...I briefly took up cross stitching during high school. Back then, I did it for the finished product. Now that I’m doing it again, I find I like it for the same reasons I enjoy baking. It is a good distraction from my own thoughts. I have to think about counting and the colors and snipping threads so there isn’t room for much else. Plus, using your hands for a projects just seems relaxing.

Games/Puzzles (Dungeons & Dragons, various board games, playing cards, Sudoku, brain teasers, crosswords, word searches, jigsaw puzzles, checkers, chess, etc.):

Ron and I like working puzzles. We prefer scenic puzzles, but recently really enjoyed one with World War II aircraft. Sometimes, we’ll pour a glass of wine and have it whilst puzzling. It’s a nice quiet activity with lots of chat about the picture and the pieces.

((Fun fact, I hate wine. Can’t stand the taste of it! But my joints feel better the next day after I have some. In this case, the puzzle distracts me from what I’m tasting.))

The absolute best time to work puzzles is on snowy days….well, just after a snow. When the ground is snow-covered but the sun is out and everything is bright and sparkling. Pull a table over to a window where the light is best and start to work a puzzle. You can see the details perfectly! And the world is silent and clean! It’s….*does a chef’s kiss*

(A word of warning for those who have cats...they significantly reduce the relaxation factor if they swat a piece or two off of the table. The relaxation numbers decrease even more if those swatted pieces then find themselves under large immovable chunks of furniture.)

Culinary Arts (cooking, baking):

When I bake, I have to force my mind to concentrate on the recipe and the measurements, and doing everything in the correct order. I’m one of those people who scramble the instructions around in my head and I have trouble focusing on directions. So, I have to re-read them over and over. Thinking about all of THAT keeps me from thinking about other stuff, so it’s really good for taking my mind off of troubles. Plus, afterwards, I have the perfect kinds of food for stress eating.

((Side note: Such is the state of the world these days, Ron and I don’t even bother with plates for cake anymore. We grab forks and dive in while the cake is still in the 13 x 9 inch pan. I freely admit we are straight up savages when we do this. I don’t care.))

By the way, let’s not be culinary snobs. If you take great joy in baking a cake using a box mix and per-packaged frosting, I am here for it! Cook and bake however you like. The point is the joy, not the method. I’ll be perfectly honest. While I enjoy baking from scratch, there are times I actually prefer box mixes. My all-time favorite banana bread comes from a store brand.

Creative Arts (painting, drawing, photography, sculpting, mosaics, etc): I used to draw but haven’t done it in years. I should try to get back to it.

To be honest, I included this category because I was thinking of several other people I know who seem to get a lot of joy out of painting, drawing, and photography. And it’s so dang cool!!

I look at what they do and am just amazed! They bring such beauty into the world and I am forever grateful. At the same time, art is good for your brain and your mood. I’m in awe.

Artists, you rock!!

Physical Activities (biking, mountain climbing, hiking, walking, swimming, tennis, basketball, football, soccer, horseback riding, etc.): If you’ve read my previous writings, then you know Ron and his sons are into biking. They also like soccer, tennis, and hiking.

And I…...totally enjoy watching them have fun.

Yeeeeaaaahhhh. I like walking. Seriously, I could walk forever. I prefer walking in the same place all the time because then I know where I’m going and I can concentrate on thinking rather than navigating. I do a lot of deep thinking whilst walking.

For the most part, I’m not into that whole sweating thing. But, I’m a firm believer in “to each their own”. Get those happy exercise brain chemicals however you can!

Also, for this category, I’m adding a weird side note. (Mostly because it helps me decompress and I’m not sure where else to put it.)

If you have access to a pool or a large enough bath tub, I highly suggest taking a few moments to just float. For me, it works wonders on the kinks in my back, and I like the noise canceling effect of having my ears under water. Just be careful not to doze off.

Reading/Writing (self-explanatory): Do I really need to talk about this category? Obviously, you are currently reading my writing. It’s probably clear to you that some people find both of them enjoyable and relaxing.

Volunteering (again, self-explanatory): For years, my grandmother used to work as a hospital volunteer. She must have found it to be rewarding work. I know it seems strange to include something which seems fairly close to “work” as a way to relax, but I’m told it can be enjoyable, so I thought I’d include it.

Assorted Hobbies (collecting, woodworking, bird watching, restoring antiques, working on cars, etc.):

I enjoy thinking about the past and how people lived their lives. I particularly like thinking about ordinary everyday lives.

We visited Biltmore, once. It’s a grand beautiful home with lush tapestries and solid old furniture. I was in heaven! But for me, the best part was seeing the kitchen and pantry and the areas where the staff worked. I love the functionality and endurance of old equipment, and the practicality of thought that went into them. And, as someone who likes to cook and bake, it was finally a kitchen I could consider “big enough”.

In our own home, we have brass bells, heavy old-fashioned irons, old toy tractors, oil lamps, sun dials, multiple antique clocks, and various other bits of history. All of it brings me comfort. It’s a connection with a simpler, more enduring past. These items were built to be constants in our lives, not to be replaced by the latest version. They provide some solidity.

Video/Computer Games (there are tons and tons and tons!): I am sooooo addicted to Stardew Valley. It’s my go-to game when I want to relax. I play it nearly every evening while Ron works on his writing. (He writes best in the evening, while I prefer to write during the day.) I look forward to my time planting all my little crops and tending to all of my virtual animals. It’s all so very soothing.

There are tons of different genres of computer and video games. Don’t think they are only for the younger crowd. If you look into them, you’ll probably find something that suits your personality.

They can be quite addictive, though, so remember to maintain contact with the real people in your life! (Which is why I only play when Ron is busy. I DO like him more than the game.)

Pets (again, self-explanatory --- but keep in mind, you don’t have to commit to a large pet - remember the small friends, too, when considering animal adoptions):

If you already have a pet, create a special moment for them. Give them their favorite treat, or take them for a long rambling walk, or find them a new toy. More than likely, their reaction will give you joy.

Oftentimes, Ron and I are quietly amused by watching how the dogs and cats interact with life and each other. Ok….to be honest….we think they are goofier than all get-the-heck-out, but we love ‘em. Pets add a little flair to life.

To be fair, though, pets do cost money (probably more than anything else on this list), so if you’re thinking of adopting, make sure you can afford it. (Add food and vet costs into that budget I mentioned earlier.)

~~ So, that’s it. A long piece of writing, on my part. A long reading commitment on your part. I hope you took away some lessons from the first part and found some good suggestions in the second part. ~~